Chills

2021.10.18 09:54 mareeanna Chills

Chills submitted by mareeanna to meme [link] [comments]


2021.10.18 09:54 BotMooCows Lost witness Happiness Happening - Rub!k remix

Lost witness Happiness Happening - Rub!k remix submitted by BotMooCows to trance [link] [comments]


2021.10.18 09:54 kaskibenireco The Organism - Vertigo [Bar 25 Music]

Publisher: Bar 25 Music
Out Date: 2021-10-15
Quality: MP3 18.78 Mb / AIFF 82.75 Mb
Genre: Indie Dance
The Organism - Vertigo / (Key Db, BPM 120, Length 7:49)​
DOWNLOAD - https://progonlymusic.com/index.php?route=release/release&release_id=492796
submitted by kaskibenireco to progonlymusic [link] [comments]


2021.10.18 09:54 Green_Palpitation490 SquidShiba Doxxed dev low Mc only 20k Mc and huge potential project german dev is live on telegram big marketing incoming

Welcome to Squid Shiba Launch 08.10 "Red Candle Green Candle" Will you survive and hold strong or sell in the red? Only the best traders will survive! In honor to the hyped Squidgames series and the rising star coin Shiba Inu we created Squid Shiba to get the best of both worlds. Our goal is to create a safespace for both communities to get in touch and talk and discuss about shiba inu and Squid Game. 🌐 Our project differs from the rest because it has a passionate German team working to develop a safety environment and also surrounding the token with massive promos.
🎯Future Goals -Get listed on Coinmarketcap and Coingecko -Create Squid Game x Shiba Inu Nfts -Launch of the Website -Influencer Marketing Campagne including: -Youtube video Promo -Twitter Influencer Promo -Daily reddit Posts -Community Shill raids and more ✅Key notes -Liquidity locked -Voicechat before and after Launch -Verified Contract -Fair Launch
🗒Tokenomics
1.000.000.000.
5% Marketing
10% Dogecoin Rewards
5% Liquidity
⚠️SLIPPAGE
📈BUY 7%
📉SELL 7%
🌎 Contract Address: 0x467a3ff91304b5d92594264395a78801fb0b2973
🌎 Pancakeswap:https://pancakeswap.finance/swap?outputCurrency=0x467a3ff91304b5d92594264395a78801fb0b2973
🌎Renounced Ownership: https://bscscan.com/token/0x467a3ff91304b5d92594264395a78801fb0b2973#readContract
submitted by Green_Palpitation490 to SatoshiBets [link] [comments]


2021.10.18 09:54 AesKiwii What was the most horrible thing you've ever seen or heard that changed your life?

submitted by AesKiwii to AskReddit [link] [comments]


2021.10.18 09:54 DreadSupp Wiemy skąd pozyskano drewno do budowy ołtarza Wita Stwosza!

Wiemy skąd pozyskano drewno do budowy ołtarza Wita Stwosza! submitted by DreadSupp to ArcheologiaPL [link] [comments]


2021.10.18 09:54 Kadelu4all Asl Education

We need to incorporate ASL into our daily practices to enhance communication and to recognize the importance of American Sign Language (ASL). I recommend this app to anyone who is in this direction. This will help the deaf community at large and the hearing who are also willing to learn ASL.
Click the link below to get it 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.RainbowtechMedia.ASLedu
submitted by Kadelu4all to deafheaven [link] [comments]


2021.10.18 09:54 Sea_Blacksmith_7228 🔰 BABY IOTA TOKEN 🔰 Stealth Launch 🔰 Listed On PancakeSwap 🔰 Liquidity locked 🔰

🔰🔰🔰🔰🔰🔰🔰🔰🔰🔰🔰🔰🔰🔰🔰🔰🔰

🔰 Wellcom to BABY IOTA TOKEN (BIOTA/BNB) 🔰

🎯 5 minutes ago FAİRLAUNCH 🎯

🌏Telegram https://t.me/BabyIOTAToken

🎯 Pancake Swap : https://exchange.pancakeswap.finance/#/swap?outputCurrency=0xd03753fab907c24ddac8bda8318f1db18184d35e

🎯Honeypot: Zero TX
https://www.honeypot.is/?address=0xd03753fab907c24ddac8bda8318f1db18184d35e

🎯 Deeplock: Lock LP 60 Days
https://deeplock.io/lock/0xc769037fa67f2bfa058c020b80ca710bfd3c5b12

🔰 BABY IOTA TOKEN is funded solely through its own cryptocurrency, a BEP20 token leveraging a smart contract on the Binance Block Chain network. 🔰

• 🔷 DOXXED FOUNDERS
• 🔷 ANTI WHALE MECHANICS
• 🔷 ANTI BOT PROTOCOL
• 🔷 WHITEPAPER
• 🔷LIVE AMA

🔷 We set out below some key points for you to consider choosing us:
- No Pre Sale, No Air Drop, Just Stealth Launch
- Total Supply: 1.000.000.000
- No dev wallet (Dev will also buy at start)
- Ownership Renounced
- Liquidity Locked 100%
- No dev wallet (Admins will also buy after launch and keep feeding the liquidity if it is necessary)

🔷 We are sick of it aswell it, so we have created our own token and dedicated it to all those that have been scammed so get in early and don’t miss out!
We will make sure this token is safe and a good investment for all, with great rewards to our early holders...
submitted by Sea_Blacksmith_7228 to cryptostreetbets [link] [comments]


2021.10.18 09:54 DadJokeBadJoke Had to stop at the top of Hwy 88 to enjoy the view.

Had to stop at the top of Hwy 88 to enjoy the view. submitted by DadJokeBadJoke to GoRVing [link] [comments]


2021.10.18 09:54 kaskibenireco The Organism - Terpsichore [Bar 25 Music]

Publisher: Bar 25 Music
Out Date: 2021-10-15
Quality: MP3 16.98 Mb / AIFF 74.81 Mb
Genre: Indie Dance
The Organism - Terpsichore / (Key Bb, BPM 122, Length 7:04)​
DOWNLOAD - https://progonlymusic.com/index.php?route=release/release&release_id=492796
submitted by kaskibenireco to progonlymusic [link] [comments]


2021.10.18 09:54 megajonathan666 Can anyone help me get more fruits, I only have peaches, cherries and pears

submitted by megajonathan666 to BuddyCrossing [link] [comments]


2021.10.18 09:54 CringeCrossposterBot Post by u/Wolfslayer256 in /r/TikTokCringe

Post by u/Wolfslayer256 in /TikTokCringe submitted by CringeCrossposterBot to TikTokHumor [link] [comments]


2021.10.18 09:54 adnama46290 adhd and fear of missing signals

I feel like I have such an intense fear of misinterpreting things that it gets in the way of my relationships sometimes. I find myself purposely exiting conversations, or just not starting them in the first place, because I'm afraid of being awkward. I feel like I have a history with feeling very embarrassed when I miscommunicate with others, and I'm wondering if that's a super common ADHD thing?
I've been told I come off very confident (& even intimidatingly serious/cool) to strangers, but it's literally just me learning to hide my terror as I sit in silence next to someone, hoping we aren't forced into a conversation.
I get so embarrassed when I realize I've missed a signal or misinterpreted what someone meant, that I often just try to avoid conversation in general. Can't miss a signal in a nonexistent conversation!! haha :') ladies? ya feel me??
submitted by adnama46290 to adhdwomen [link] [comments]


2021.10.18 09:54 Danceman2 "Did you know we have Colin McComb, one of the writers of Fallout 2, as our Creative Lead on Broken Roads?"

submitted by Danceman2 to TurnBasedTactical [link] [comments]


2021.10.18 09:54 raoxf

⌛ submitted by raoxf to StassieBaby [link] [comments]


2021.10.18 09:54 Green_Palpitation490 SquidShiba Doxxed dev low Mc only 20k Mc and huge potential project german dev is live on telegram big marketing incoming

Welcome to Squid Shiba Launch 08.10 "Red Candle Green Candle" Will you survive and hold strong or sell in the red? Only the best traders will survive! In honor to the hyped Squidgames series and the rising star coin Shiba Inu we created Squid Shiba to get the best of both worlds. Our goal is to create a safespace for both communities to get in touch and talk and discuss about shiba inu and Squid Game. 🌐 Our project differs from the rest because it has a passionate German team working to develop a safety environment and also surrounding the token with massive promos.
🎯Future Goals -Get listed on Coinmarketcap and Coingecko -Create Squid Game x Shiba Inu Nfts -Launch of the Website -Influencer Marketing Campagne including: -Youtube video Promo -Twitter Influencer Promo -Daily reddit Posts -Community Shill raids and more ✅Key notes -Liquidity locked -Voicechat before and after Launch -Verified Contract -Fair Launch
🗒Tokenomics
1.000.000.000.
5% Marketing
10% Dogecoin Rewards
5% Liquidity
⚠️SLIPPAGE
📈BUY 7%
📉SELL 7%
🌎 Contract Address: 0x467a3ff91304b5d92594264395a78801fb0b2973
🌎 Pancakeswap:https://pancakeswap.finance/swap?outputCurrency=0x467a3ff91304b5d92594264395a78801fb0b2973
🌎Renounced Ownership: https://bscscan.com/token/0x467a3ff91304b5d92594264395a78801fb0b2973#readContract
submitted by Green_Palpitation490 to CryptocurrencyICO [link] [comments]


2021.10.18 09:54 colevoncolt check me

submitted by colevoncolt to CommentRemovalChecker [link] [comments]


2021.10.18 09:54 kiwipizz i drew quincy crew (an esports team) as the stardust crusaders :)

i drew quincy crew (an esports team) as the stardust crusaders :) submitted by kiwipizz to StardustCrusaders [link] [comments]


2021.10.18 09:54 Randomesscool Trading pets and items! kinda poor smh...

Trading pets and items! kinda poor smh... submitted by Randomesscool to AdoptMeTrading [link] [comments]


2021.10.18 09:54 pipsikamlo Honey Amazon Code

Here is the Honey Amazon Code
Looking for more coupons ? You can find more coupons on this page. Also you can use the site search to find any coupons you want.
submitted by pipsikamlo to AmazonCouponSites [link] [comments]


2021.10.18 09:54 Aggravating_Fox7859 Evil Smash Mouth

Evil Smash Mouth submitted by Aggravating_Fox7859 to memes [link] [comments]


2021.10.18 09:54 ayayayaayaas Is this combination good?

I want to study a stem major in top20. I'm interested in many different areas so I still can't make up my mind on what I want. But is this class combination suitable? Also, I'm struggling a lot with English literature I don't understand anything even though its SL and I don't think my school is doing much help. Verbal based classes of mine are always very low, what should I do. Thanks in advance.
HL: Physics, Chemistry, Math AA SL: French AB, English Lit, Global Politics
submitted by ayayayaayaas to IBO [link] [comments]


2021.10.18 09:54 Bubba5980 [DnD 5e] or [SW5e] Duo of active and invested players looking for a new sci-fi or fantasy adventure

Hello all!
As stated in the tittle, my friend and I are looking to join a new game of 5e or SW5e (though we're open to other sci-fi settings as well). We're both pretty experienced with pbp and 5e as a whole but are more than happy to work with newer GMs. For our preferences, we'd prefer games that are more rp than combat focused in about a 60-40/70-30 split. If playing SW5e, the old republic, clone wars or post episode 6 eras are preferred. Additionally, either homebrew campaigns or adventure paths are fine with us. Lastly, we'd like for any potential dms or groups to be lgbt friendly.
The two of us would also be fine with adding another player or two into the group if anyone else is interested as well.
If interested either comment below or send me a message, thanks!
submitted by Bubba5980 to pbp [link] [comments]


2021.10.18 09:54 gloomshot_bot FLOWERS REACTS TO TIEBREAKER 2 | Daily LOL Highlights

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EvJ9Y1v7LQ

Clip # Title Author Curator Score Source Direct Link
#1 [00:00] Flowers Reacts to Tiebreaker 2 captainflowers22 popecheetosxiv 3.8091599999999994 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#2 [00:26] what a fb riotgames you_got_trolled 0.9395 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#3 [00:48] 100T Deny The Backdoor riotgames theyhateandrew 0.68136 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#4 [01:48] stopwatch captainflowers22 mrdartex 0.21648 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#5 [02:21] FLY PHOENIX FLY PepeLaugh riotgames gameryder 0.5923200000000001 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#6 [03:20] PEEEEERRKKKZZZZZZZ captainflowers22 en_fluoresce 0.2068 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#7 [03:36] ES VERDAD WN xerxiia fpsb4k1 0.0301 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#8 [03:59] riotgames clip riotgames theyhateandrew 0.3345 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#9 [04:28] blade 1v9 enemy insta ff tfblade rish332 0.0297 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#10 [04:52] Not again!! Captainflowers reacts captainflowers22 sharpestbiade 0.0257 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#11 [05:07] <3 ! xerxiia salmondelpuerto 0.0203 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#12 [05:37] RGE Fiddle Dive riotgames daisybottft 0.3186 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#13 [05:53] nice lacari keewala 0.0184 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#14 [06:17] Flowers Speaking the Truth captainflowers22 thiggitythor 0.0182 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#15 [06:50] AP Yuumi Carry bobqinxd mathandmandarin 0.0182 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#16 [07:13] POG sick_nerd gloomshot v2.2 0.004 abridger v5.5 [CLICK]
#17 [08:35] LCK Lee Sin steals the Baron riotgames regrup 0.205 twitch_clips_discovery [CLICK]
#18 [09:02] lol_nemesis clip lol_nemesis gloomshot v2.2 0.004 abridger v5.5 [CLICK]
#19 [10:10] yougelly clip yougelly gloomshot v2.2 0.001 abridger v5.5 [CLICK]
#20 [11:04] shiphtur clip shiphtur gloomshot v2.2 0.001 abridger v5.5 [CLICK]
#21 [11:58] DUO Q WITH WILLNEFF nesua gloomshot v2.2 0.00016 abridger v5.5 [CLICK]
Clip # | Created | Changes Made:--:|:--:|:--:
1 [00:00] | 2021-10-17 08:02:45.037000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.2348102331951095 - final volume: 0.12478984107167332", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.57, "fps": "60.0->30", "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "volume_changed": "-11.0, -0.1 -> multiplier 1.51", "lower_3rd_dur": 19, "chat_objs": 598, "top_emotes": {"cap22PARTY": 14, "PogChamp": 6, "LUL": 6}, "add_texts": "Added texts: 'Flowers Reacts to Tiebreaker 2', ' curator: popecheetosxiv'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 56}#2 [00:26] | 2021-10-17 08:02:51.018000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.04912365479697004 - final volume: 0.048283461973498504", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.69, "fps": "50.0->30", "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "lower_3rd_dur": 17, "chat_objs": 454, "top_emotes": {"LUL": 9, "PogChamp": 5, "WhySoSerious": 3}, "add_texts": "Added texts: 'what a fb', ' curator: you_got_trolled'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 47}#3 [00:48] | 2021-10-17 08:02:53.494000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.05367245847822519 - final volume: 0.03377910504620105", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.53, "fps": "50.0->30", "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "volume_changed": "-25.2, -1.7 -> multiplier 1.35", "lower_3rd_dur": 45, "chat_objs": 476, "top_emotes": {"ResidentSleeper": 22, "LUL": 12, "BigBrother": 6}, "add_texts": "Added texts: '100T Deny The Backdoor', ' curator: theyhateandrew'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 121}#4 [01:48] | 2021-10-17 08:02:59.553000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.11289907711860171 - final volume: 0.07601126564714046", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.71, "fps": "60.0->30", "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "volume_changed": "-16.0, -2.3 -> multiplier 1.29", "lower_3rd_dur": 25, "chat_objs": 151, "top_emotes": {"LUL": 6, "NotLikeThis": 4, "SwiftRage": 2}, "add_texts": "Added texts: 'stopwatch', ' curator: mrdartex'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 68}#5 [02:21] | 2021-10-16 07:44:38.743000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.03518039414930261 - final volume: 0.04148963721104443", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.51, "fps": "50.0->30", "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "volume_changed": "-28.4, -7.7 -> multiplier 1.13", "lower_3rd_dur": 44, "chat_objs": 575, "top_emotes": {"LUL": 11, ":)": 5, "BatChest": 4}, "add_texts": "Added texts: 'FLY PHOENIX FLY PepeLaugh', ' curator: gameryder'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 122}#6 [03:20] | 2021-10-17 08:02:56.901000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.19964017756585814 - final volume: 0.13290711035490452", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.71, "fps": "60.0->30", "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "volume_changed": "-11.4, -2.2 -> multiplier 1.3", "lower_3rd_dur": 12, "chat_objs": 223, "top_emotes": {"LUL": 4, "WutFace": 4, "NotLikeThis": 3}, "add_texts": "Added texts: 'PEEEEERRKKKZZZZZZZ', ' curator: en_fluoresce'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 39}#7 [03:36] | 2021-10-17 08:03:26.279000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.06771891085186468 - final volume: 0.04189198376684977", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.77, "fps": "60.0->30", "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "volume_changed": "-22.7, -1.6 -> multiplier 1.36", "lower_3rd_dur": 17, "chat_objs": 29, "top_emotes": {":o": 1, ":(": 1, "nataliaStressed": 1}, "add_texts": "Added texts: 'ES VERDAD WN', ' curator: fpsb4k1'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 39}#8 [03:59] | 2021-10-16 07:44:35.929000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.05446053573180828 - final volume: 0.05378237829533624", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.66, "fps": "50.0->30", "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "lower_3rd_dur": 22, "chat_objs": 527, "top_emotes": {"LUL": 8, "EarthDay": 6, "ResidentSleeper": 2}, "add_texts": "Added texts: ' curator: theyhateandrew'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 64}#9 [04:28] | 2021-10-15 07:29:21.090000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.00926236513972104 - final volume: 0.01823079381671244", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.62, "fps": "60.0->30", "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "volume_changed": "-39.8, -21.8 -> multiplier 2.99", "lower_3rd_dur": 17, "chat_objs": 203, "top_emotes": {"PogChamp": 1, "tfbWeird": 1, "tfbTOP": 1}, "add_texts": "Added texts: 'blade 1v9 enemy insta ff', ' curator: rish332'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 46}#10 [04:52] | 2021-10-17 08:03:35.551000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.23144299831840515 - final volume: 0.14369592392871483", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.69, "fps": "60.0->30", "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "volume_changed": "-11.8, -1.5 -> multiplier 1.37", "lower_3rd_dur": 12, "chat_objs": 137, "top_emotes": {"NotLikeThis": 5, "EarthDay": 1, "LUL": 1}, "add_texts": "Added texts: 'Not again!! Captainflowers reacts', ' curator: sharpestbiade'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 37}#11 [05:07] | 2021-10-17 08:03:44.422000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.04214675660108663 - final volume: 0.03096347091808845", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.69, "fps": "60.0->30", "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "volume_changed": "-25.5, -3.1 -> multiplier 1.22", "lower_3rd_dur": 22, "chat_objs": 14, "top_emotes": {"xerxii1HeartEyes": 2, "<3": 2, "smitty2Sadge": 1}, "add_texts": "Added texts: '<3 !', ' curator: salmondelpuerto'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 49}#12 [05:37] | 2021-10-16 07:44:41.598000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.04825010308697712 - final volume: 0.047391446109666405", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.71, "fps": "50.0->30", "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "lower_3rd_dur": 12, "chat_objs": 554, "top_emotes": {"LUL": 25, "<3": 11, "NotLikeThis": 7}, "add_texts": "Added texts: 'RGE Fiddle Dive', ' curator: daisybottft'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 41}#13 [05:53] | 2021-10-17 08:03:48.685000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.08900336200299241 - final volume: 0.057921426831493476", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.78, "fps": "60.0->30", "resize": "1664,936 -> 1280, 720", "volume_changed": "-20.6, -2.0 -> multiplier 1.32", "lower_3rd_dur": 18, "chat_objs": 283, "top_emotes": {"lacS": 4, "forsenDespair": 4, "lacDespair": 3}, "add_texts": "Added texts: 'nice', ' curator: keewala'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 42}#14 [06:17] | 2021-10-17 08:03:57.273000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.09756628782829883 - final volume: 0.06721067065879256", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.67, "fps": "60.0->30", "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "volume_changed": "-17.9, -2.5 -> multiplier 1.27", "lower_3rd_dur": 25, "chat_objs": 132, "top_emotes": {"LUL": 5, "cap22BONK": 2, "Kreygasm": 2}, "add_texts": "Added texts: 'Flowers Speaking the Truth', ' curator: thiggitythor'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 70}#15 [06:50] | 2021-10-17 08:03:54.556000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.06768050936342301 - final volume: 0.036169766267053274", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.7, "fps": "60.0->30", "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "volume_changed": "-21.4, -0.1 -> multiplier 1.51", "lower_3rd_dur": 17, "chat_objs": 47, "top_emotes": {"bobqinPOGGERS": 1, "mangoNODDERS": 1}, "add_texts": "Added texts: 'AP Yuumi Carry', ' curator: mathandmandarin'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 42}#16 [07:13] | 2021-10-17 11:06:10.789000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.04442463343661361 - final volume: 0.03582527539594793", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.75, "fps": "60.0->30", "resize": "1664,936 -> 1280, 720", "volume_changed": "-26.2, -4.0 -> multiplier 1.15", "lower_3rd_dur": 61, "chat_objs": 74, "top_emotes": {"LUL": 1}, "add_texts": "Added texts: ' curator: gloomshot v2.2'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 166}#17 [08:35] | 2021-10-16 07:44:47.633000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.050521804150398336 - final volume: 0.0433948413618901", "found": "no category folder", "stillness": 0.62, "fps": "50.0->30", "resize": "1920,1080 -> 1280, 720", "volume_changed": "-25.9, -4.7 -> multiplier 1.09", "lower_3rd_dur": 20, "chat_objs": 552, "top_emotes": {"LUL": 13, "4Head": 9, "PogChamp": 4}, "add_texts": "Added texts: 'LCK Lee Sin steals the Baron', ' curator: regrup'", "duration_subtract": 0.05, "elapsed_secs": 62}#18 [09:02] | 2021-10-17 11:07:57.503000 | {"version": "3/22/2021", "clip_volume": "0.028862930723061037 - 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2021.10.18 09:54 cheesyrhy Lost in my head

I have never been so lost and confused in my life to the point that I hate myself. I'm trying so hard not to go down the rabbit hole of "I'm not good enough". Because if I do, I'm pretty much paralyzed.
Okay, to begin with, I'm 24/f and I recently graduated from art school and I'm an aspiring animator(2D). I say aspiring because I still feel so far from the goal. College was amazing but I seem to have lost my focus somewhere along the way. I ended up focusing too much on my boyfriend(now ex) in the past year. I had dreamt of being in the art/design field since I was 15. In high school, I was that artist kid who knew exactly what I wanted to do. There was never a thread of doubt. I was an average student in school and I always knew that whatever I do, I have to work hard, be it an artist or an engineer, or a doctor. But with animation, I found something that I actually wanted to work hard for. I instantly fell in love.
But the past year has had me questioning that love a lot. When I was younger I wanted to do something that would make a difference to the world, social work essentially. The desire to do something that makes a difference is still there. Still strong. In college, I learnt how to combine that desire with art. But last year made it painfully obvious which professions actually make a difference. Sure enough, I just stayed home wallowing in self-pity. And as I said I focused too much on my relationship(2 years long). It's like I wanted to be was his girlfriend. When I went back for my final semester, I was really excited to explore my love for art again. But early on in the semester, I had a conversation with my boyfriend about my lost love for art and he put me down for having a negative attitude and made me feel like I hadn't prepared enough for the final semester(which I realize now, was not true). For whatever reason, I carried on that self-resentment I got from the conversation for the rest of the semester. Albeit, I don't blame him for my attitude for the rest of the semester. I should have tried harder to get out of it. I ended up with a final project that I'm not too proud of(because it's not complete).
I finish college in June. We end our relationship because didn't want LDR. Little did I know, ending the relationship would make me realize just how much I've been holding myself back. I thought that ending our therelationship would get me down because I lost him. But honestly, it got me down because the rose-colored glasses came off and I realized just how much of myself I lost. In simple words, I felt like shit. I still do. I hate how much I let a relationship affect and control me. There is a lot of myself that I lost but I won't get too much into it for this post, I want to focus on my passion.
As an artist, I have to constantly improve and keep practicing. And just never stop. But I stopped. for 2 years. And that is the main reason I ever questioned my choice of work. Because I had made little to no improvements. I was stuck. And now I'm not good enough. I'm not where I should be to be able to work in this field. I refuse to blame my ex or my relationship for this. This is all my doing. I kept dreaming big and doing nothing.
When I finished college, I decided to take some time for myself. It was a big change and I just wanted a breather. So I didn't even try to look for a job. And it was during this time that my rose-tinted shades came off and I went deeper into the rabbit hole of misery. I hated(hate) myself. Because at the end of the day I have no one to blame but me and my laziness.
I spent the past four months trying to work on my portfolio, improving skills, and/or just sitting and doing nothing. Unfortunately, I spent more time doing the latter. I developed a habit of daydreaming. I'd just wake up, get ready and just sit and daydream the whole day. It was the only time where I wouldn't feel awful about myself. And I got lost in my head. It was a few weeks ago that I realized that I'm lost and having a hard time getting out. There are times when I just end up not moving, and before I know it, it's been days/weeks/months. Some days I'd wake up and I manage to do some work. But if you look at it as a whole, I spent the majority of my time just sitting. So basically I spent four months daydreaming, I felt paralyzed.
I realized that I love what I do. What I want to do. This is it. I love animation and I can't even imagine doing anything else because I don't want to. The past week I tried harder to get out of my head. And for the most part, I've succeeded(I think). I started some online courses. And 2 days ago, I got a rush and I mass applied to several places for a job. It was 2 am, I was exhausted but I really just wanted to apply. Unfortunately, most of the applications were sloppy and full of careless mistakes. I copy-pasted some cover letters and forgot to edit them for some companies(so now, some places have a cover letter that says "we spoke on the phone earlier", even though I haven't for most of these places). God, what a mess. Then yesterday, I tried to apply for an internship at a studio that I've loved and looked up to for a long time. And I just got a reply saying that my work needs to be better and I need to improve. And they told me to work on it and apply again. And while I already knew this, I'm crushed, to say the least. I'm not even good enough for an internship?
As I mentioned earlier, I don't want to go down the rabbit hole of "I'm not good enough". I can't afford to feel paralyzed for another four months. While it's painfully obvious what I need to do now. I'm ridiculously terrified. I'm panicking and feel stuck again. It's like I've been drowning for the past four months and I didn't even know it and I've suddenly woken up in the middle of the ocean with no life vest. Even though I know how to swim, I'm too terrified to realize that and I continue to flap my arms around like a moron to stay afloat. I don't want to reach land just by flapping my arms around, I want to swim there. But my mind is too fogged up. I'm so lost. Honestly, I don't even what direction to go in. I know where I want to be but I don't know how to get there. Okay, I'm just rambling now. Heck, I think this entire post is a ramble. I'm sorry about that.
Well, I'm not really sure about what I'm asking here really. Maybe, just...help? I don't know. I just hope that once I post this, I don't go back to my bed and get lost in my head again.
submitted by cheesyrhy to DecidingToBeBetter [link] [comments]


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